Lipsticks from my youth!

I am a hoarder!   It's gotten to the stage where I fear I am at a tipping point in actually never being able to chuck anything way, or will be the next person featured in some reality TV documentary!

For to long I have been moving so much rubbish from place to place, and recently after de-junking my bathroom I can actually trace a particular lipstick back to when I was 13!  It is quite starling that this lipstick has moved with me since I became a teenager.  I can even remember buying it, a lurid shade of bright pink that was very in back in the 80's, which is ever such a long time ago, and I would put money on it that at some stage it has probably been re-launched as a 'vintage' range by the manufacturer.

Over the past three decades, I have moved a lot!  And to think that this is just one item that I have felt the need to take with me really is just the tip of the iceberg.  Now childhood toys, that provoke real nostalgia are understandable.  But LIPSTICKS!!! more so a lipstick that I have not even worn since I first bought it.....

And that was just one, there was with it a whole host of others, as well as blushers, false eyelashes, mascaras, eye shadows and hair styling products. Surely I cannot be the only one to hold on to cosmetics, and then I found this http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1253442/Women-warned-make-bacteria-risk-average-cosmetics-bag-years-date.html  Nice to know that I am way WAY above average on how out of date my make up bag is.

But in the grand scheme of things, we cart around so much rubbish and not just physical things.  What about mental and emotional junk that we cant get rid of with a bin bag?

These past few months have been the start of a huge journey for me into my own self, I have questioned who I am and where I want to go in life. As a person I have been shaped by those who are a constant and important part are of my life, but emotionally I have been affected hugely by those who have just been passing through, and by god some of them I really would love to put in a plastic bag and 'dump'. The worst thing is that it has been those 'passers through' who have had a more profound effect on my mental health than my constants.  My ex- husbands words still ring in my ears today, and it's stupid as he and one particular boyfriend since were just manipulative, emotional vampires.

So, what may have started as a bathroom cleanup is really the beginning of a complete mind, body and soul make over.  It has been dawning on me lately that my inner voice may not be my own but some of those 'Velcro monkeys'  (thanks Eileen at Enterprising Women!)

So, going back to that 29 yes 29!!!!! year old lipstick, has it really benefited me to keep hold of it, and now it's gone, do I actually miss it?

Short answer is NO!

Do I feel better for getting rid of it? - Hell yes!  Every time I walk into my nice shiny new bathroom, I feel so happy.  Something that I didn't think would happen, I honestly thought I would grieve over outdated makeup - how bloody ridiculous!  It's this constant battle that goes on in my head over waste, but how much energy have I been wasting over the years moving stuff around with me.

And the big effect it has had is in my buying habits, yes it has only been a week, but already I have been asking myself  Do I really need that?  Have I really got a burning need for that thing?

To sum up, if we keep living and carrying around our past rather than learn buy it, how can we ever move forward without fear of the unknown.....

now, wheres my Teflon overcoat ;-)

adventures in smoothy making.....

It was my first time, so naturally I approached with caution.....

er NO!

So, first off and after a bit of googling I found a recipe for a mango smoothly which included spinach!  It also has hemp seeds, but those I don't have.  I actually didn't have much in the way of baby spinach leaves, however a quick look in the salad tray ( a danger in it's own right!) revealed some in the mixed salad.  So, I tipped it all out and after a good rummaged had about the right amount - whoop whoop

Last night in a half arsed attempt at prep, I did have the mango, banana and almond milk and by a stroke of luck there was a bag of ice in the freezer, of which I had no idea where it came from as one thing I don't buy is frozen water, so thank you ice fairy :-)

So, after digging the blender out of the cupboard (thanks mum for giving it to me all those years ago)  and I do rather amaze myself that amidst all the chaos of this house I do actually know where stuff is, and if you look at the posted photo it is quite a feat half of it was in the cupboard under all the books, other half under the sink :-)

yes it's a total mess! nothing really to be smug about!

Anyway.......  after washing off said blender I started assembling the ingredients, i.e. by chucking them in afore mentioned equipment, I sort of measured it all out as I am so excited to just use the blender!  I was a bit nervous about the spinach and mango, but willing to give it a go and yes I was very carefull to firmly fixthe lid in place, but I bet you were all hoping I hadn't ha!

Checking the manual, I hit the right button and off it went whizz whizz

Grabbing my new spangled Arbonne beaker which I thought was fitting for this event I carefully removed the lid and poured it in, and I am happy to report it is bloody yummy!

It then dawned on me in my excitement that I had forgotten to put in the protein powder - doh!  So in my dressing gown I run out to the car and get the packet, realising when I came back that there was one by the kettle!  I then poured it all back into the blender and added the vanilla powder,and am pleased to say that it still tastes yummy, and yes I was sceptical as had not tried the powder before and have heard some consultants say it's disgusting, and mixed with fruits it really isn't, maybe on its own with water it may be bloody horrible!

I would like to add that it was a small packet by the kettle in the green mug, not a bloody great full size one like in this picture!  I do love my bling beaker :-)

So there you have it , my first ever home made smoothly, minus the hemp seeds (mental note made to get some)  Day one is a go !!!!!  So excited I ran up the stairs, that's my exercise for the day.....only kidding!  Will be picking up a kettlebell later.

making a start......

I have to admit to not being very good at starting something, or finishing it to that matter!  I'm great at researching and fantastic at procrastination.

A few years ago I embarked on the 98 day challenge with Burn Fat Feed Muscle author and trainer Tom Vuneto, and I did finish, and lost weight and inches.  But the habits I formed were still not good ones.  I know what I am meant to do, and I know an awful lot about nutrition and what is good and bad, my problem is my mental attitude due to I feel my poor self image.  Yesterday I entered the 2013 summer challenge and over the next 98 days I plan to not only change me but also my home.

At the end of February I started my new business with a company called Arbonne, it was one that I had looked at before but didn't really get, I went along to a business presentation just to support my friend who is an Area Manager and I still was not that enamoured to take the plunge and sign up.  It took a further year before I realised what Arbonne was about, and it wasn't just about selling health and wellness products.

Being around positive people I find my mindset is changing daily, it was rubbing off on me.  I'm not saying that I have had a miraculous overnight 180 degree U turn in my daily life and thoughts, but it has started a much healthier journey for me in changing how I think about myself and my life. My daily front appears to the world as a positive and confident person, when in truth I am the total opposite.  I suffer with low self esteem on top of a whole host of other mental and emotional issues.  It will be a very long post for me to go into the how's and why's, that at 42 I often feel a fraud in my demeanour, but it comes from life and what it has thrown at me.

It is not mentally healthy to hold in those negative thoughts and feelings, the seeds planted in your subconscious mind become anchored in your conscious mind, which are your daily thoughts.  You know that little voice in the back of your head telling you what you can and cant do, that's YOU, and you are what you think, is just as true as you are what you eat.

Over the next 98 days, and starting with the first 30, I plan to continue what I began at the Pure Transformation summit in Vegas, on this occasion what happened in Vegas is not going to stay in Vegas!  Before I left for the conference, I knew that the hotel has an amazing array of pools.  My body image is as you may have gathered not great, however I packed a bikini and NOT a swimsuit.  I was determined fully engage in the enjoyment of the hotel and atmosphere of the conference. Just because I am not the 'perfect' size 10 I should not be holding myself back from having a great time, indecently I do not consider a size 10 perfect, perfect is feeling good about yourself. What is perfect to you is going to be wildly different to someone else and a whole lot different to the images we are bombarded with by the media.

So, for the first time in 23 years, I wore a bikini in public, and not hiding it behind a towel.  I proudly walked (not ran and hid in the water) from the sun-lounger in to the pool, head held high AND I even had photographs taken. Okay I was in the water when they were taken but I was in a very public area in the first place with bared flesh that was mine.  I really did have a fantastic time and for that I thank those around me who have made me feel good about myself.  Some longer than others and yes I am finally waking up to what you lot all already know ;-)

Now, my other personal challenge is to improve my house!  I know that a lot of my depression stems from it, so over the next 98 days I pledge to de clutter and reduce the amount of stuff that is crammed into it.  After watching those hoarder programs, I know that I have a problem :-(  It is down to complete lack of motivation which comes over me like a dark cloud the minute I walk in the door, and it is inside and out!  I have taken some before shots and will post these in a different post.

I am determined to not be in the same position that I am in in 5 years time, No mater how small, you have to take the first step towards changing your future, my first step was back in February when a whole host of incidents led me to change my business and focus.

This is my journey, one only I can take and direct :-)

How hard can it be......

To actually eat five a day??

For me it seems to be a massive challenge!  And the stupid thing is I actually like fruit and vegetables even cabbage!  So, when they say set small goals, maybe my first one would be to actually manage to eat my five a day.  I mean look at the health benefits of the humble red grape, a snack that has to be one of the easiest to pop in your mouth as you don't have to peel it just pull it from the stalk and eat - simples!  It contains lots of things that have weird words... ;-)  as well as vitamin A & C

FLAVONOIDS - these help prevent heart disease, very useful at my age!

LUTIEN - Now these apparently help your vision, again useful at my age.

RESVERATROL - this is in the skin of the grape, and is quite something (at my age), it lowers blood cholesterol and can stop those pesky blood clots forming which will of course help lower the risk of STROKE!!!!

And finally those

ANTIOXIDENTS - stuff that impedes cancer - bazinga!

and I love grapes! If I go back to my youth I used to stuff myself stupid on fruit, was not a problem to have my apple a day, and it did keep the Doctor away.  And I have to say I was full of energy.

So I again have to ask myself, that when I became in charge of the shopping why oh why have I overlooked my simple five a day

now where's my pin I really fancy a pomegranate.