A few years ago I embarked on the 98 day challenge with Burn Fat Feed Muscle author and trainer Tom Vuneto, and I did finish, and lost weight and inches. But the habits I formed were still not good ones. I know what I am meant to do, and I know an awful lot about nutrition and what is good and bad, my problem is my mental attitude due to I feel my poor self image. Yesterday I entered the 2013 summer challenge and over the next 98 days I plan to not only change me but also my home.
At the end of February I started my new business with a company called Arbonne, it was one that I had looked at before but didn't really get, I went along to a business presentation just to support my friend who is an Area Manager and I still was not that enamoured to take the plunge and sign up. It took a further year before I realised what Arbonne was about, and it wasn't just about selling health and wellness products.
Being around positive people I find my mindset is changing daily, it was rubbing off on me. I'm not saying that I have had a miraculous overnight 180 degree U turn in my daily life and thoughts, but it has started a much healthier journey for me in changing how I think about myself and my life. My daily front appears to the world as a positive and confident person, when in truth I am the total opposite. I suffer with low self esteem on top of a whole host of other mental and emotional issues. It will be a very long post for me to go into the how's and why's, that at 42 I often feel a fraud in my demeanour, but it comes from life and what it has thrown at me.
It is not mentally healthy to hold in those negative thoughts and feelings, the seeds planted in your subconscious mind become anchored in your conscious mind, which are your daily thoughts. You know that little voice in the back of your head telling you what you can and cant do, that's YOU, and you are what you think, is just as true as you are what you eat.
Over the next 98 days, and starting with the first 30, I plan to continue what I began at the Pure Transformation summit in Vegas, on this occasion what happened in Vegas is not going to stay in Vegas! Before I left for the conference, I knew that the hotel has an amazing array of pools. My body image is as you may have gathered not great, however I packed a bikini and NOT a swimsuit. I was determined fully engage in the enjoyment of the hotel and atmosphere of the conference. Just because I am not the 'perfect' size 10 I should not be holding myself back from having a great time, indecently I do not consider a size 10 perfect, perfect is feeling good about yourself. What is perfect to you is going to be wildly different to someone else and a whole lot different to the images we are bombarded with by the media.
So, for the first time in 23 years, I wore a bikini in public, and not hiding it behind a towel. I proudly walked (not ran and hid in the water) from the sun-lounger in to the pool, head held high AND I even had photographs taken. Okay I was in the water when they were taken but I was in a very public area in the first place with bared flesh that was mine. I really did have a fantastic time and for that I thank those around me who have made me feel good about myself. Some longer than others and yes I am finally waking up to what you lot all already know ;-)
Now, my other personal challenge is to improve my house! I know that a lot of my depression stems from it, so over the next 98 days I pledge to de clutter and reduce the amount of stuff that is crammed into it. After watching those hoarder programs, I know that I have a problem :-( It is down to complete lack of motivation which comes over me like a dark cloud the minute I walk in the door, and it is inside and out! I have taken some before shots and will post these in a different post.
I am determined to not be in the same position that I am in in 5 years time, No mater how small, you have to take the first step towards changing your future, my first step was back in February when a whole host of incidents led me to change my business and focus.
This is my journey, one only I can take and direct :-)
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